How to lead restorative circles in your classroom

When harm happens, restore the relationship

Two students had a falling out. One spread a rumour. The other is hurt, angry, feels betrayed. Traditional approach: detention, apology written, move on. Problem: the relationship is still broken. Trust is gone.

Restorative justice circles bring people together to talk about what happened, why, and how to repair it. It takes courage and time, but it actually mends relationships instead of just enforcing rules.

What makes a restorative circle work

The people:
• The person who caused harm
• The person harmed
• Supporters of each (a friend, family member, or peer who cares about them)
• A facilitator (usually you) who's neutral and skilled

The structure:
1. Everyone sits in a circle (symbolically equal)
2. Opening: Facilitator explains the purpose
3. Those harmed speak: What happened? How did it affect you?
4. Those who caused harm speak: What happened from your view? What do you understand now?
5. Everyone reflects: What needs to happen to repair this?
6. Agreement: They write or agree on next steps
7. Closing: Rebuilding the relationship, moving forward

Questions that guide restorative conversation

For the person harmed:
• "What happened from your perspective?"
• "How did this affect you?"
• "What do you need to feel like this has been addressed?"

For the person who caused harm:
• "Tell me what you understand happened."
• "What were you thinking/feeling at the time?"
• "How do you think [person] felt?"
• "What can you do to repair this relationship?"

For supporters:
• "What's important to you about this relationship?"
• "What would help them move forward?"

Before you run your first circle

• Build classroom culture: Practice talking about feelings, perspective-taking, and conflict in low-stakes situations first
• Both people must consent: They have to be willing. If someone refuses, you'll need to follow your school's behaviour policy, but keep the door open for later
• Have a backup facilitator: You can't be both a participant and facilitator. Train a school counsellor, senior leader, or experienced peer to co-facilitate
• Plan the timing: Don't rush. 45 minutes minimum. Emotions need space
• Follow up: Check in with both students after one week, one month. "How's the relationship? Is the agreement working?"

Why this matters

Restorative circles teach conflict resolution, perspective-taking, and accountability — skills they'll need forever. And when harm is repaired, not punished, kids feel safer coming to you with problems. Trust grows. Behaviour improves, not from fear, but from genuine relationship repair.